Discipline & Re-calibration

Self-discipline is an odd thing. The amount of discipline I exercise is sometimes directly proportional to the resources available to me. Which makes me wonder if what I’m doing is actually practicing discipline, or just being forced to appear disciplined because there are no other options available. Sometimes, that’s true, but speaking in recent terms, I do still have the option to make less optimal choices, and I’ve been avoiding that for the most part. Which is a very good thing, though not always the easiest choice.

I’ve been making a lot of choices that directly impact my spending, and while I’m trying not to impact the dogs or hubby any more than necessary with that (it’s not their fault I wasn’t managing my money well last year), I have made some decisions that require change for them too. Not backwards changes, just different. Like making dog treats instead of buying jerky and commercial dog bones. And hubby having to suffer through a few weeks of burnt toast edges (I did far better this week, thankyouverymuch) while I relearn how best to make toast in the oven (my toaster oven died, and I won’t be replacing it for a while due to “budget cuts”).

I’ve also been very cognizant of the grocery budget and sticking to a tight, smaller budget while shopping, and the thing that strikes me the most is…just how much stuff I often buy that we really don’t need. I’ve always been kind of a food-hoarder, and I like a wide variety of foods. Since I don’t menu plan, I often just buy a bunch of things that sound good, and keep what I’ve always referred to as a “well-stocked” refrigerator, freezer and pantry. So you would think that with buying less, the stocks would be waning, right?

They’re not, generally speaking. I mean, the stuff we eat/use all the time does, of course, but I restock those even when watching the budget. But we still have a too-full fridge, a too-full freezer, and a too-full pantry because there are things in all three that just aren’t getting eaten. It’s become clear that I need to do a fridge/pantry/freezer clean-out spree one of these weekends, and start over. There’s every reason to have a good stock of staples in the house, but no reason whatsoever to have so much food we’ll never get around to eating.

I also have an “overstock” of vacation hours at work I need to use or lose before March 31st. Perhaps a day or two of that should be earmarked for kitchen cleaning/decluttering/reorganization.

I’ve been more disciplined about screen time lately as well, with good results – namely, my eyes aren’t bugging me as much or as badly. I’ve been working on my knitting block in the evenings after a certain point, and that is far easier on the eyes. I didn’t get any writing done last week, but this week, it’s back to the Alphasmart with its non-backlit screen for my writing time. Considering I was using that time for ordering stuff I’d forgotten to order (tea, supplements) online, and updating my to-do list before bed last week, going back to writing is a nice change for both the eyes and the brain.

Interestingly enough, forcing myself to be more disciplined in financial matters has had the unintended side-effect of being more disciplined in other ways as well. Which makes sense, really – the more I tell myself “no” or “you have to wait” or “you don’t need that”, the easier it is to just wait or pass things up. I learned that as a child, of course – my parents were not indulgent in the least (and couldn’t afford to be), but somewhere along the way I’ve morphed into more of an instant gratification mindset, and I don’t think that’s a good or healthy thing, mentally speaking.

So the financial recovery process is also a sort of “re-calibration” process, and I like where both are going. Cheesy as it sounds, I think it will help me to be a better person all around, and I’ve already noticed some good results in that I’m getting more things done on time, organizing and prioritizing my time better. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get those two “resolution” books finished and published this year. We’ll see…


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