I Forget Sometimes…
…that writing is a process. Or rather, becoming a “good writer” is a long process, and conventional wisdom (ie, all other writers everywhere who are any good at the craft) is that in order to become “good” you must write a lot of…well, let’s just say “not good” stuff.
Some of what I write, I like. Some of it, I think is just the greatest, most profound statement ever (short stories, mostly). Yes, I know – it’s the ultimate ego/hubris, but let me keep that, because most of what I write ends up being drivel, or at least falls far short of where I wish it was.
This year’s been a difficult one for writing, and full of a lot of self-doubt. Mostly of the type that makes me wonder if I’ll ever be a “good” writer, or if I’ll always be just mediocre at best, due to my rather lackadaisical habits. Which often leads to my wondering if I should just stop writing, but of course therein lies the rub: I can’t. I’m caught in this sort of Catch-22 where I may never reach the calibre of writer that I want to be, and yet, I can’t give it up. Been there, done that (for years, actually). Always come back. Always.
Now, I’ve managed to shove the majority of that self-doubt in a corner, and start writing again. And I’m really enjoying what I’m working on, and I’m excited for things coming up too. I haven’t been able to write as fast or as much as I’d like, but I’m still working away, and I’m still optimistic for a Christmas book launch and at least one other shortly thereafter. So…moving forward, more slowly than I’d like, but making progress. And I’m taking a vacation from the day job soon that I plan to use much of for writing, which is very exciting.
I think the key thing for me is just remembering that I am a writer. Whether I’m a good writer or not is really for others to decide (as long as I’m entertaining myself while I write, which I do), but I am and always will be a writer. Whether I publish or not, whether people buy my books or not, it’s just…a part of who I am. I need to remember that and embrace it. I need to stop feeling inferior to other writers just because of their fame or name recognition or book sales.
Be it. Own it. Write whatever the hell I damn-well please, and enjoy the living daylights out of every word.
I write for myself. Anyone else who comes along for the ride is a pleasant and welcome guest. But my stories are first and foremost for me.
Publisher Site: Brazen Snake Books