Everyday Romance: Healthy Space

A few weeks back, I posted about couples sharing – or not sharing – a bed at night. Reactions were mixed, and I was actually kind of surprised that keeping separate beds or bedrooms isn’t as uncommon as I’d thought. One commenter posited that it’s healthy for individuals to have their own space – which, while I don’t necessarily agree with in the context of the bedroom, I absolutely agree with in general terms.

My husband is my best friend, hands down. I’d rather spend time with him than anyone else. But there are times I need “space” – time away from everyone/everything, including him. Sometimes it just sort of happens – I workout in the basement, and he goes to the gym. I spend two hours every Sunday making dog food (often listening to music), and sometimes he heads off to visit his parents. Late at night while I’m writing, sometimes he’s in the living room with me, and sometimes he goes to read in bed. I’m sure he needs his own space sometimes too…and I tend to think of the billiard room downstairs and the garage as his personal “spaces” to retreat to.

We don’t seem to need a lot of time apart…I know for me, the little bits here and there are plenty. I know that some couples tend to need more space than others though – my parents don’t tend to have the same interests, so while they do spend time together, they seem to spend more time apart than my husband and I.

How do you take time away from your spouse? Do you feel like you get enough? What are some of the things you do to work in “alone time”?

2 comments on “Everyday Romance: Healthy Space

  1. Brooklyn Ann

    I agree about the space thing. Unfortunately we have such a tiny house that there is no retreat. We handle this by his gardening time and my semi-monthly outings to the bar to play darts with my guy friends.

  2. Kelly B

    I 100% agree with you. While I think the number one key to a great marriage is communication you have to have your own space if for nothing more than to have a place where you can go and shut the door and veg.

    When we were first married we shared an office. That just didn’t work. He likes to play on the computer and I liked to work on it. Bills, writing, organizing-don’t ask-and searching the internet for recipes. This lasted for about six years, but for two of them he was working away from home.

    When we built the house we currently live in, one of the stipulations on his part was we each had to have our own spaces for office. It works for us. Right now as I write this I am working in my office and he is “playing” in his. Its his way to wind down, and this is mine. When I am ready for bed I let him know and we go. It works really well for us.