Everyday Romance: Jealousy

Are you the jealous type?

I’ve heard it said that if you don’t get jealous with regards to your spouse/significant other, that you must not love that person. Not being the jealous type, I don’t agree. I think most of the time jealously is a direct result of insecurity, rather than a measure of how much you love someone. Sometimes it’s insecurity with the relationship, other times it’s more an internal “I’m not worth sticking around for” attitude. In any case, I see it more as a symptom of a problem rather than a trustworthy emotion.

I tend to be a pretty confident person, and I’m content and confident in my relationship with my husband. I think that’s probably why I don’t really get jealous – there’s simply no reason to.

Are you the type of person who gets jealous easily? Do you know why or why not?

12 comments on “Everyday Romance: Jealousy

  1. Meg

    Yep. Jealous person right here.

    And you’re right, it does stem from a problem. Mine being a serious lack of trust.

    It’s horrible. It’s getting better as our relationship is repairing, but it’s still there and it sucks.

    I used to be that confident person. I miss it. 🙁 At least my husband doesn’t get mad at me, he answers all my questions and lets me check his phone, then I feel silly, but still justified in checking his shit.

    Possible TMI…but I’m feeling honest this morning.

  2. Kelly B

    I think for me when I was younger I found myself feeing these things but as I grew older and invested more and more of myself into my marriage with my husband doing the same I have learned some things and hopefully grown as a wife and as a women.

  3. Carol

    I totally agree that jealously has more to do with trust issues and insecurity than with how much you love someone.

    I’m not always the most confident person, but I’ve been married long enough that I have no jealousy issues when it comes to my husband.

  4. Ardee-ann

    I am usually not the jealous type because I think that jealousy is crazy and all about a person’s insecurity. That being said, I did get jealous once about my partner’s former girlfriend. I didn’t think she wanted to be with her or miss her. I was crazy green eyed jealous because she had time with her that I had missed. I could never get that time back and it made me insane. I know it sounds irrational and it was but I have to own the behavior and admit that even though I am NOT the jealous type that jealousy did once pierce my psyche. I hated it and I NEVER want to go through that again.

    Ciao,

    Ardee-ann

  5. Cynthia Schuerr

    For me, it definitely has to do with trust issues. I totally believe that’s the reason I’m not in a relationship and haven’t been for a long time. I don’t trust anyone enough to give of myself, long term.

  6. Jamie DeBree

    No such thing as TMI here – you’re with friends, Meg. Thanks for sharing honestly – you’re not the only one, I’m sure, just one of the few brave enough to post.

    I think this shows that no matter how much we want to control our emotions, it’s often easier said than done…

  7. Jamie DeBree

    Hi Kelly – thanks for stopping in. 🙂 I think you’re on to something there…as we mature and grow we tend to get more secure in our relationships, so things like jealousy naturally fade, as long as both people are on the same wavelenth.

  8. Jamie DeBree

    It’s a great place to be, isn’t it Carol?

  9. Jamie DeBree

    Funny how we can know something is irrational, but still feel it anyways, isn’t it? Annoying too, when you’re trying hard to just get over it and not allow it to affect you. Unfortunately, jealousy *always* drives a wedge between people…and not just lovers. I’ve had my share of experience with that as well.

  10. Jamie DeBree

    It’s sad that your trust has been so severely broken, Cindy…perhaps someday you’ll connect with someone who can help you heal (unless you’d rather not – which there’s nothing wrong with either).

  11. Ruth Ann Nordin

    I agree with you about there being another problem. I’m not the jealous type either. Thankfully, my husband hasn’t given me a reason to be jealous.

  12. Jamie DeBree

    It’s handy when the men cooperate, isn’t it? 🙂