Everyday Romance: Online vs. Offline Connections

I bet you can guess that I’m a big proponent of online connections, whether between friends or between potential lovers. Back before I was with my husband (um…12 yrs ago?), I met quite a few guys online, even dated a couple, and I always loved the fact that our first impressions weren’t based on looks, but rather on our words. Of course, I met my husband twenty years ago in person, and that was the more lasting connection…

I’ve always thought that connecting on an intellectual level was just as important as a physical one…maybe more. You know how some people get either better or worse looking the longer you know them? For me at least, it’s generally because I get to know how they think, how they feel about things. And that colors my perception of them physically.

There were a few guys I connected with online that seemed to be a perfect match for me intellectually, but there were just no “sparks” when we met in person. Obviously if you meet in person first, you’re going to know right away whether there’s a spark or not, something that’s impossible online. I wonder how often people meet online only to be disappointed offline? I hope not often, but that may be wishful thinking.

What are your thoughts regarding meeting people online vs offline initially – especially in regards to romance? Do you think it makes a difference in a potential relationship? Is one better than the other in the recipe for love? Share your thoughts…

8 comments on “Everyday Romance: Online vs. Offline Connections

  1. Carol

    Ten years ago I would have had a different answer, but now I believe the internet is a great way of meeting someone for a relationship. We have only to look at Adam and Rhaina to see this is true. 🙂

    I also know someone who used E-Harmony and in a very short time became engaged, and another friend met someone in Hawaii and has been there several times to visit him.

    I think the great thing about meeting someone on-line is that, like you said, you can connect with someone on an intellectual level first. Too often we’re swayed by someone’s appearance, which is a shame because we’re often missing out on something wonderful.

  2. K.M. Weiland

    Some of my favorite people are Internet “ghosts,” whom I’ve never met – and may never meet – in real life. It’s true we loose a certain sense of connectivity in online communications, but because the relationships have less pressure, they can be easier and therefore more numerous. I treasure all my friendships, online and off.

  3. Rhaina

    Indeed. And I didn’t meet Adam on a dating site. It goes to show, you never know when you will meet Mr or Ms right.

  4. Jamie DeBree

    That’s another good point I hadn’t thought of – far easier to have more friends online. I couldn’t possibly keep up with all the online friendships I have offline, for sure!

  5. Jamie DeBree

    I’m starting to develop a new plot idea based on that very thing, Carol…image vs. intellect. Many romantic possibilities and twists yet to be explored, methinks… 😉

  6. Jamie DeBree

    It’s kind of scary to think that you and Adam would never have met without the internet. It’s one thing to think of all the friends we wouldn’t have, but to have missed a soul mate due to distance? I suppose you’d never know the difference, but still. Seems just short of tragic to consider the alternate.

    Or would fate have found a way, I wonder? Hmm…another post brewing…

  7. Rhoni at CKYBooks

    Obviously I’m a little biased on this subject. Jon and I had such a strong connection before we met in person I think it would have been almost impossible not to have that spark. BUT – as they say – hindsight’s 20/20. And at the time, it was a big concern for us both. You can definitely have the spark w/o the connection (I just don’t think the relationship will last). I just think the connection helps generate and/or flame that spark.

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