Everyday Romance: Talkin’ Dirty…or Not.

Confession #1: This post probably contains Too Much Information (TMI). I predict it will still be a popular post. People like TMI, even as they’re screaming “ewww!” 

Confession #2: I am not a dirty talker in the bedroom.

You wouldn’t know that by my erotic scenes, where I’m not afraid to describe…well, everything in graphic detail. And sometimes my characters talk dirty to each other as well. In my books, you’ll find cock, pussy, and lots of nipple action. Rarely penis or vagina, because they’re too “clinical” for me, but clitoris or “clit” for sure.  As for using them “off the page” though…I’m just too shy for the most part, even though I’ve been with my husband for 11 (?) years now. I know!

Now this doesn’t apply to writing or out-of-town internet chats. I like graphic words on paper or the screen, and don’t hesitate to use them with my appreciative hubby when a note or chat session is warranted. Written words are my “thing”, naturally. I’ve often wondered though what it’s like to “be” that person…the one who talks dirty in the thick of things. And whenever I think about trying it, I just know it’s going to sound cheesy rather than sexy, and we’ll collapse on the floor in tears of laughter. Sometimes, you just are who you are, you know?

That gives me an idea for a character…

Don’t get me wrong – hubby and I are *masters* at innuendo. Nothing is sacred in our world, and not a day goes by without conversations going to the sexual side at least once or twice. It’s just the explicit we, well, pussyfoot around.

Your turn…confess! Do you talk dirty in the bedroom? I do accept anonymous comments if you want to be all discrete about it…

10 comments on “Everyday Romance: Talkin’ Dirty…or Not.

  1. Carol

    Once again, you’ve hit upon something that we agree on. While I can write dirty with the best of them, when it comes to talking dirty, out loud, it just seems . . . silly.

  2. Heidi

    Okay, I’ve been lurking for a while, too busy to comment, although I read all of these posts, but now I just gotta.

    I am so jealous!

    I can be pretty *wild* okay that’s enough of that, but I have the hardest time writing the love scenes. See, I said love and not sex. Sheesh. I think, no I know, that if I were writing an anonymous erotica type story, it would be fine. But I keep thinking “my grandma is going to read this, and her friends and my mom and my aunt and my…” well you get the picture. I’m sure it’s a typical novice issue, but the writing just makes me…well…itchy. It’s annoying and for me a glaring flaw that I know I need to address, but I keep putting it off. Do you, or anyone else has any advice?

    BTW, I have no issues reading erotica, and the like and have read a myriad of love/sex/dirty, funky monkey lovin’ scenes in my life, so reading more isn’t going to help.

    Thanks in advance.



  3. Jamie DeBree

    It’s strange how the words can sound so…erotic when a character speaks them, but when you go to try something like that yourself, it’s just cheesy. LOL I have no idea why that is…

  4. Jamie DeBree

    Yeah, I can’t really think about that. LOL I’m safe from my mom, because she won’t read anything with explicit sex (or really, any sex), so she’ll never read my work. But who knows if my dad will give it a go? And *ewww* on that! Who knows how my other relatives will react…they’ll probably think I’m some sort of nympho with a problem. Either that, or they’ll love it (which strange as it sounds, will be weird too). 😉

    All that to say…I really have no advice. Personally, I just told myself that I have two choices. Either write it and *own* it without reservation, or don’t write it (ie, fade to black). I tried not writing it for awhile…and decided that just wasn’t me. So now I write it…and just don’t even think about my relatives reading. There are *way* more people I don’t know who will read it (I hope), so I focus on that.

    And I don’t actively market to my relatives. 😉

  5. Lisa

    I understand this 🙂

    I’ve been known for my virgin tongue and naivete. You wouldn’t know that by my writing, though. I don’t know where the ideas come from, but it is like a completely different person takes over when I write. I’m looking forward to my husband’s reaction when he finally reads some of my work. I’m hoping to make him giggle since he has a bit of a potty mouth.

  6. Jamie DeBree

    Oh me too! My characters use words I never would, even just in conversation. I bet your husband will be tickled (and then tease you mercilessly) when he reads it…

    Mine just asks why I don’t write erotica for porn mags. *eyeroll*

  7. Ardee-ann

    Well, I am more of a potty mouth in the bedroom than I am in writing. I love sex talk. It turns me on a lot and I use my words and voice to keep things H-O-T! LOL!!!

    Now, years ago I wrote erotica with impunity. I wrote my first very short erotic novel at age 14. I was precocious to say the least. All the boys at Catholic High School loved it.

    However, now except for the bedroom I work hard to keep my mouth and my writing clean. I still like to read erotica but don’t feel the need to personally write the way I once did. So, now I am a changed woman.

    I don’t know why the change has occurred but it has and there you have it. We all have different cycles in our lives.



  8. Cynthia Schuerr

    Dirty sex talk is fun to read, but I can’t verbalize it, either. If I think it, while in the act, my body will translate it. But, if I say it out loud, I begin to focus on the words and it takes me right out of the moment.

  9. Jamie D.

    Nothing wrong with change, Ardee-ann…I suspect we all probably go through those stages in reading, writing and probably in the bedroom too. Interesting how I can write it but not speak it, and you can verbalize but choose not to write it. I do love variety…

  10. Jamie D.

    I think that’s exactly my thing too, Cynthia – my brain engages too much, and then I get pulled out of the moment. That’s not surprising for me, since my “thinking” often gets in the way… LOL