Stuff I Could Say…

And here you thought last week’s post was late…

I could regal you with how busy life is right now as an excuse, I suppose, but you’d be bored (confession: I did start typing it out, and *I* was bored reading it back to myself), and then you’d fall asleep and hit your head on the keyboard, possibly imprinting a letter or two from the alphabet in that skin right above your eyebrows. So not cool.

I could tell you that I finished writing a draft this past Sunday, and you’d be all “YAY!” until I told you it was for one of my alter-egos, and then you’d be all “yay?” until I mentioned that this particular draft needs a *lot* of work before it will be even remotely ready to publish, and I need to write a novel to go with it as well, because the story is way, way bigger than I’d originally envisioned, and then you’d give me that side-eyed look that tells me you’re a little confused, getting bored again, and would love it if I’d just move on to another subject already, thankyouverymuch.

I could tell you about the flock of wild turkeys that were holding up traffic the other day (heck, I could show you that one, since I actually took a picture while stopped at a stop light, or you could save me the trouble of posting it here, and go check out my Facebook, Instagram or Twitter page – feel free to friend or follow, I don’t bite. Much.). They were pretty much just…doing what turkeys do, wandering around probably looking for food. No, I didn’t hear any gobbling, but that’s probably the fault of Adelita’s Way and the excellent sound system in my Outback.

I could whine that there is no way I’m going to be able to finish watching the fourth season of Falling Skies before it leaves Amazon Prime in three days. Dammit. Dare I hope it’s leaving so they can put it on Netflix? I was never a huge fan of Noah Wylie until I stumbled over this series, and now I have a bit of a crush on his character. Then again, I’ve always had a soft spot for the strong-yet-reserved history professor types…

I could mention the giant pumpkin demon that hangs over the table where I sit while hubby and his gang are playing pool on Wednesday nights. His long arms grab at me every time I brush by (can’t keep his bony hands off me, the lech), and the flowing robe effectively blocks my view of the table and game play. He does create quite an effective cave-like setting though, which seems to give me good writing mojo. I should do that awkward selfie thing before they take him down, eh? Is it a selfie if I don’t actually take the picture myself? Hmm…probably better not risk looking like one of those self-absorbed teenie-boppers…

I could probably make you hungry by mentioning that I have a pork roast in the crockpot for dinner, and butternut squash in the other crockpot. Mentioning the Brussels sprouts in the third crockpot might lose some of you though (which is really too bad – they’re excellent, IMO). Maybe if I posted a picture of the whole stalk of sprouts I found at the grocery store this past Sunday? I mean, even if you don’t like sprouts, you have to admit, a whole stalk of sprouts is pretty cool lookin’. But…I’m lazy, and I already posted a pic on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook last weekend. Are you seriously telling me you don’t cyber-stalk me? I’m hurt. sniff

I suppose since we’re talking sprouts (and cyber-stalking, which is only mildly more interesting), I should mention bacon just to wake you back up. What’s that you say? Bacon, sausage and all other processed meats are unhealthy and cause cancer? Um, yeah. Duh. Now you’re boring me. Pass the sausage, and some maple syrup to dip it in, please? Waffles are just incidental (though still good). It’s all about the meat, really. *snicker*

One last thing: Bacon. You’re welcome.