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NaNo Update, Slippers, Weight & Nail Grinding

You may have already guessed, but last week was not the week I got everything together and caught up on NaNo. I did write nearly 5000 words on Friday when I was off, but that was about it, other than the odd hundred words or so during the week. I’m honestly pretty sure I’m not going to make the 50k by Nov. 30th, but that’s okay. I’ve been wanting to write this particular story for ages, so whatever word count I get done on it is good progress.

One of the other things I’ve been working on is a pair of slippers. I thought I’d make my husband a pair first, and then if they went well, I’d make a couple pairs for gifts. The first slipper I made exactly to the pattern, but it’s really not…tall/wide enough for his foot. So I need to tweak the pattern a bit, and use the same length, but the width for the next size up, and see if that makes them a bit more cozy. It’s a fun stitch (Tunisian Knit Stitch), and works up quickly, so I’ll start the new one tonight.

I’ve been working on them in the evenings while we’re watching TV, which is generally better than staring at the computer screen all night. Better for my hands/wrists/fingers too. they’ve been getting kind of wimpy lately, and I need to build those muscles back up. Strong hands/wrists are really handy!

I’ve also been trying desperately to figure out when I might be able to hop on the treadmill for 20 minutes, and still can’t seem to find the time. It’s frustrating, but my weight is creeping up again (badly), and I really need to get a handle on it. Like…yesterday. So that’s a major goal for this week.

And, I really should find some time to fix my nails before the week gets too far. I was late getting started with my manicure Saturday night (due to dying my hair, of course), and by the time I had them cleaned, filed, buffed and ready to paint, I was *so tired* I couldn’t even really pay attention and did a pretty bad polish job. But the worst of it is, I went to bed too quickly, and smudged several fingers, and then when I was grinding down the dogs’ nails, I managed to grind holes in two of the poorly done, smudged polish on my own. *sigh*

Talented, I am. But the dogs’ nails are in much better shape. So there’s that.

This week is a normal, mundane 5-day work week. Let’s hope that means I can get my writing schedule back on track, if nothing else…and maybe a treadmill schedule as well?

The Most Frustrating Thing

If you’ve been reading here long-term, you’ll know that a few years back, I burned out on most everything due to “stuff” going on that just made all the stuff I wanted and needed to do so overwhelming that I just sort of dropped everything unnecessary, including writing, and did the bare minimums to get by while life was all crazy-like. Part of it was changes happening rapidly and all at once, and part was a mid-life crisis that I’m only now really able to acknowledge for what it was (because no one wants to admit to something like that, really).

Thing is, I persevered, got through it without embarrassing myself too terribly much and without causing to much havoc, and now find myself in a much healthier state of mind (still very pensive and “what if?” centric, but that’s normal for me). And suddenly wanting to pick up where I left off, but with new priorities that keep me from just diving in head first (and also keep me physically/mentally healthier, so they need to stay).

There are so, so many things I want to do. My main source of frustration in life – the thing that beats me up more than anything else in this world, is that I simply cannot do everything I want to do, all at once. Not even a little at a time, because there are just too many “little at a time” things to schedule. It’s just not physically possible.

So I try to prioritize, and that sort of works, but there are still too many things on my “priority list”. And pretty soon I’m only doing one or two things, and fantasizing about doing the other things, and knowing that there just isn’t enough time or energy to fit it all in.

It’s damn depressing. And it’s also the ultimate unsolvable puzzle. Which makes my whole brain just cringe, because that’s what it *does* all day, every day, at work, at home, and everywhere else. I solve problems. I fix things. I find a way to make whatever needs to happen, happen.

But I can’t fix this.

I can’t fix the fact that I’m human. That time and space are limited. That I am interested in way too many things, and far too curious for my own mental health.

Even if I were willing to change my current priorities, I still couldn’t fit everything I want to do into my life. And even as it is now, with the few things I’m prioritizing, I don’t feel like I have enough time to give them. I want more writing time. More reading time. More workout time. More cooking time. More organizing and cleaning time.

But in order to do even that many things, I have to compromise, and give all of them less time than they really need just so they get “some” time.

There’s no happy ending to this, I’m afraid. No diagrams or schedules or 30-days-without-sleep cleanse that could solve this particular problem.

And that, for me, is the most frustrating thing about life.

On Quirky Tech, TV, & Lifestyle Check…

It’s been a little over a week since I got my new laptop, and I’m very nearly finished “moving in”. As with every piece of tech I’ve ever bought, this one’s not without it’s quirks, but I’m getting to know them and how to work with and/or around them (as we do). The backspace key still trips me up until I’ve been typing awhile, but I’m getting there. I finally found instructions on how to deal with the trackpad online, and turning off the “tap to click” function saves me from deleting paragraphs when my thumbs travel across the trackpad while I’m typing.

I did suffer a bit of confusion when I plugged in my external DVD drive and it wouldn’t autoplay the disc. Windows has included a media player by default since…well, since I was in college, I think. As it turns out, they stopped doing that with Windows 8 – apparently they expect everyone to just download all entertainment now? I still like to own media here and there, thank you very much. In any case, a quick search of the internet turned up several freeware options for DVD player software, and my problem was solved in about 5 minutes, thank goodness.

So, just one more thing to get installed/working, and I think I’ll be good to go. The only other thing I need to do is crochet a sleeve for the new laptop, as I’ve already scratched the aluminum case carrying it in my bag, and the top of my bag is open, so it needs a little extra protection from the elements. I’ll probably put a skin on it as well – at least on the wrist rests, because as much as I love the all metal chassis, it’s cold to rest my hands on. A polyvinyl skin will make it feel a bit warmer.

Speaking of new tech, we finally replaced our basement TV this weekend. We were still using an old analog square monstrosity down there, and the picture was getting quite fuzzy. We found a nice LED flatscreen to replace it with, and the digital tuner in the new TV is way better than the box we were using with the old TV (we don’t have cable – just a rooftop antenna). Needless to say, the picture is so much nicer…it’s really quite nice. And now I have one less excuse to get my butt downstairs in the evenings and do a half-hour workout.

Which brings us to a recent “lifestyle check” I’ve been doing. I need to pull things back into balance, as they’ve become a bit skewed – though oddly enough, it’s not the day job that’s the culprit this time. I’ve actually been incorporating bits of the day job into my personal life, not enough to be overwhelming, but enough that it just feels like any other part of my “whole” life, rather than a distinctly separate entity, and I have to say, it’s actually less stressful to have it that way than it was when I was very rigid about keeping them separate. I know it seems counterintuitive for a lot of us, but after reading several articles making the argument for letting the lines between personal and professional blur last year, I decided to give it a try. And I have to say, I’m happier and more satisfied with my job having done so. It’s weird, but whatever works, you know? Obviously that can be taken too far, but I think I’m keeping a healthy-enough boundary in place. For now, at least.

No, the two things I need to pull back into balance now is health, and hobbies. And the thing that has supplanted them isn’t even really a “thing” at all, but rather that insidious laziness that keeps me cemented to the couch after dinner at night, staring at both the TV and my computer screen, thinking I’m going to both relax (with TV) and get something done (either writing or marketing/pub stuff). In reality, I stare at the TV, ignore my computer for the most part, and pretty much do my best zombie impression until it’s finally time to get up and feed the dogs.

This sort of laziness isn’t really benign. I sit at a desk most of the day, and for the last month and a half or so, I haven’t even been taking a break and walking the stairs twice a day. I do still get a yoga workout in every morning, but that’s really not enough movement in general for the human body to stay in optimal condition. So it’s not just that I’m “doing nothing”, but that I’m actively sabotaging my own health. Not cool.

I have reminders for nightly workouts…I’ve just been ignoring them. I could get more creative with them, but really, it doesn’t matter. What matters is not ignoring them – getting up off the couch and actually working out. And not being lazy at work either – it only takes a few minutes to walk the stairs morning & afternoon.

I’ve been ignoring portion sizes too, so that’s another thing I need to pay more attention to. None of this is difficult at all, it just requires that I make the right choices. And I’m perfectly capable of that, honestly. I just…haven’t been. Getting back to making those right choices is at the top of my list for this week.

I have plenty of excuses, but none of them are valid at the moment, so…time to get back on the wagon, so to speak.

Anyone else gotten lazy with a healthy habit lately? Wanna join me? Brave enough to admit it?


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