Sep 13 2024

A Fundamental Shift for Fall

Author: Jamie DeBree • Discussion: No Comments

Happy Friday the 13th!

Fall is fast approaching, and with it, vacation days that will be spent on publishing tasks rather than traveling, which I’m looking forward to. I’ve enjoyed the change of pace this summer, though a lot was getting prepared, but I’m somewhat relieved to go back to not trying to fit travel into our weeks along with everything else. We may end up taking another short trip before winter, but nothing to long or intensive.

Last weekend while struggling to get everything done even though I was on a break from making dog food, I finally admitted to myself that I’ve taken on too many responsibilities here at home, and I need to either give myself more time to deal with them, or dispense with some of them. This after buying two more fish (pretty platies – pictured above) for one of my aquariums because I’d planned to merge it with the other large one, but I’m definitely not going to have the time or money to do that until early next year, and I didn’t want to look at a mostly-but-not-quite empty tank for the next six months (there were/are several khuli loaches in there, but they spend most of their time in the sand).

It’s difficult to impossible to decide what to give up. I love my aquariums, my plants (Do I need so many? No. But can I decide which ones to get rid of? Also no.), my writing, crafting, and while I don’t love cleaning so much, I need to do more of that, just because it needs to be done.

So, I’m working on figuring out how to spread things out more over the week, and do little bits every day instead of trying to do everything on the weekends. It’s definitely a process, but I think that will allow me to keep what I have, at least, and if I adjust my weekend sleep schedule to be more “normal” (*sad sigh*), I should have more time for writing and crafting things on the weekends, when I need bigger blocks of time for those things.

It also occurred to me last weekend when I was thinking about all of this, that a major theme of my life is trying to organize everything enough that I can do all the things I love, and perhaps that should have a larger focus in the books I write (or some of them, anyways). I know I’m not the only person who struggles with this, so it would be a relatable thing for readers, and it’s what I know and am constantly thinking about.

Perhaps this will be the next series idea I’ve been looking for? I’ll play with it a bit this weekend, and see what shakes out.

The Magpie novel is coming along well, and Alex hasn’t started the spooky story yet, so we should both probably keep/get moving on those. And I really want to get the print formatting done for Alex’s Death by Veggies collection for an October release. So that’s what we’re working on at the moment in publishing.

And that’s all I’ve got for this week. Until next time,

That’s it for this week! If you have a favorite thing to share, or want to recommend a book, TV show, video or podcast, comment below, email me at jamie@jamiedebree.com, or catch up with me on Facebook or Instagram.

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Sep 03 2024

Showers Are a Peculiar Sort of Magic

Author: Jamie DeBree

I’ve loved long showers since I was a kid (much to the chagrin of my parents, as you might imagine). The average time I need underneath that warm, inspirational spray is twenty to thirty minutes, and while I might try to be quicker if I have to, I’ll often postpone a shower just so I can take a properly long one.

During the week, I do take a couple of quick “wash & shave” showers before work (no wet-hair involved), but even on those days, I have an alarm set on my watch for the time I need to be out, and I’ll push those 15 minutes every single time.

The thing is, my mind relaxes in the shower, and it’s one of the few places on earth that no one bugs me. I have ideas, and they just sort of explode in that warm, humid cocoon of steam. My brain goes a hundred miles a minute, and I often solve problems, make plans, plot stories, plot series, get to know characters, and I come out with both a laundry list of ideas and at least a half-formed plan on how I’m going to work on all of them.

It’s exciting, exhilarating, and I wish I could go to bed at night with the same enthusiasm (and results). This weekend, I took a shower, and came out with a whole plan for how to incorporate some flash stories in with a Christmas idea I had earlier, and also some epiphanies into my current drafts and characters. It was fantastic, and I’m excited to get to work on making those ideas reality.

Are your showers inspirational and fun? If not, where do you go, or what activity inspires you in a way that nothing else can?

Until next week,

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Aug 16 2024

Overthinking Overthinking

Author: Jamie DeBree

Hi! I’m Jamie, and I’m an “overthinker”.

It sounds like it should be some rare, mysterious ailment, doesn’t it? It’s not, of course…just ask any anxious or control-freak person out there, and they’ll tell you. Why do we tend to overthink things? I can’t answer for anyone else, but in my case it’s simply fear. Not really fear that the worst might happen (because trust me, I have a plan of some sort for that), but more than one of the myriad smaller things that require more time and effort (and money, sometimes) to resolve will spin out of control.

This actually serves me well at work, where testing and retesting and thinking and thinking again makes all the tech I deal with run better and I end up with less technical “misses” that result in panic-type situations (it happens, and it always will on occasion, but it’s the exception rather than the norm).

Not so much at home, where the top two things noodling around in my head are getting the van ready for our first overnight trip next week, and what to do with the dogs while we’re gone. The van is already way, way over-provisioned for the one-night trip we have planned, and my parents will be coming over to watch the dogs for us, but the details are spinning about the dogs and the fact that I’m very much a night person (it’s nearly midnight as I write this), and my dogs are used to that schedule, but my Mom is not.

I also get up to feed the dogs around 6:30am every morning (I go back to bed on the weekends), which is not something my Dad, who is a night person, would appreciate having to do. My dilemma is whether to have the morning person stay over and possibly have to let Athena out at 1am (when I’m normally headed to bed), or have the night person stay over to make sure they get their late-night snack and another potty break, but also have to get up at 6:30am the next morning to give the dogs breakfast too?

Or should I ask my dad to cover the late-night snack/potty break, not have either of the parents sleep over, and have my mom cover the breakfast shift.

I’ve been going round and round about this in my head, and still haven’t come to a decision, because the consequences of getting it wrong could be nothing, or they could be torn up couch cushions & doors, to say the least.

The truth is, both schedules will probably work just fine, and I just need to accept that I can’t control everything and I am really looking forward to getting out for another drive, some more bookstore shopping (and a museum!), Pokemon in different places, and our first night spent in the van. Oddly enough, the one thing I don’t overthink (and probably should) is travel (though as I mentioned, the van is over-provisioned just because we both like our creature-comforts).

Are you an overthinker? Is it situational, or general? What do you do to talk yourself out of or around it (if anything)?

We are leaving Thursday and back Friday, so there probably won’t be a post next week, but after that, I think it will be time to settle into a more set routine. And I’ve figured out my blockage with my Magpie heroine (who is not an overthinker, to her detriment), so that is moving onward again too!

Until next time,

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Aug 02 2024

This & That

Author: Jamie DeBree

I’ve been trying to make the time to blog regularly…obviously, that’s going well. I keep telling myself I’ll figure it out eventually, and then my hormone supplements run out, or I make the horrible decision to eat myself into 12 more pounds (which affects not just my hormones, but also my overall sleeping/living/daily life), or life just happens and I try to swim with the current and end up getting tumbled against the rocks.

In any case, a lot has happened since the last blog post, some of which will become posts all their own eventually:

– Hubby and I took another daytrip to collect Montana Bookstore Trail stamps. We went northwest this time, to Livingston and Bozeman. Briefly, five bookstores in one day is too much when you have to drive a ways to get to them. Also, I may need another bookcase.

– During our trip, our newly installed windshield failed in a rainstorm, and water was leaking into the car on the passenger side (right onto my bare legs). Our van’s been in the shop all week, and we should get it back Friday (“today” as you’re reading this, maybe).

– There was one day this week that was absolutely beautiful walking weather. I’m calling it the Avocado of walking days, and I so wish I could reliably find them more often.

– My husband turned 60, so we celebrated with more food (and requisite sugar) and a rare trip to the theater to see Despicable Me 4, which was hilarious (naturally).

All that and a bit of stress at work (shaken, not stirred), equals not a lot of time left over. However, I’m trying to use that time more wisely, so I’ve managed to stop playing games (aside from Pokemon) during the week.

Now I just need to do something more productive with that time, like rewriting blurbs and planning “next scenes”.

I have been writing a bit – I’m stuck on something in the Magpie draft, so that’s sitting and waiting for me to get “unstuck”. Luckily, I never work on just one draft, so I also have a little short story started.

However, Halloween is coming! And Alex would really like to have another story out this year, so we’ll be working on that periodically as well.

So, things are happening. And I will eventually figure out how to document them here more steadily.

What are you up to? Reading? Writing? Taking walks because your weather is cooler than mine (where?!)? Comment below, email me at jamie@jamiedebree.com, or catch up with me on Facebook or Instagram.

Until next time,

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Jul 12 2024

Sweet Alpine Silence

Author: Jamie DeBree

This past Monday, my husband and I took our classic van on its “maiden” voyage (with us) up into the mountains. It was time to hunt down our first “out of town” stamp for our Montana Bookstore Trail passport, as well as test out all the mechanical work we had done a few weeks ago, start breaking in the new tires, and make sure the transmission and new brakes were up to the task of ascending and descending sometimes steep inclines. That happens quite often in this state, especially when traveling west, so finding any problems closer to home is preferable than farther away.

Our first on-the-road passport stop was in the little tourist town of Red Lodge, Montana, at the base of the Beartooth mountain range a little less than an hour from where we live in Billings. The store is called Beartooth Books, and it’s in a lovely old stone building with a beautiful wooden door and a stained glass transom overhead. It’s cozy, but spacious enough not to feel crowded, with lots of light and incredibly handy “If you liked [big name author]…try [this not-so-big-name-author]” recommendations hanging on the shelves in very visible and helpful spots.

I picked up four books: “Dead Mountain” by Preston & Child, “Black River Orchard” by Chuck Wendig, “A Most Agreeable Murder” by Julia Seales, and “Lone Woman” by Victor LaValle. I also grabbed a couple of bookmarks – one for myself (because I’m trying to be slightly more civilized, though I’m not sure it’s working) and one for my mom for taking care of our dogs while we were out gallivanting around in the country.

The bookstore’s stamp for the passport was drawn by one of the owners when she was nine – a lovely image of a heart with a silhouette inside. The stamp was frisky that day, and tried to escape before it could “validate” my passport, but it was quickly retrieved and the validation complete.

After a successful book-shopping stop, we headed down the street to Bogarts for lunch, a popular restaurant that opened there the year I was born. I had an incredible burger with onion bacon jam and Gouda, and a side salad that was big enough to have been lunch all on its own. After that, we stopped at the candy shop, which you will not miss if you just walk main street, and grabbed a bag of taffy (another well-known destination that’s been around since I was a kid) before we headed on up into the mountains.

The Beartooth Pass tops out at nearly 11,000 feet, and the road up is only open in the summer (it’s buried, literally, in yards of snow all winter). The highway is very twisty with steep drop-offs, dramatic views, and sharp switchbacks to navigate, so it’s not a “set the cruise control and go” type of drive (not that our cruise control works). You have to pay attention and focus, and there are a lot of turn-outs where you can pull off and go hiking or just take in the mountain air and spectacular forestry (until you get above the timberline, anyways).

We kept going until we hit the summit, and then stopped to stretch our legs over the rocky Beartooth plateau, say “Hi” to the rock chucks, and enjoy the big sky our state is nicknamed for. It was cool and calm, and even though there were a few other people up there enjoying the day, the thing we both noticed pretty much right away was the silence.

Here in the city, it’s never silent. There’s always at least the underlying hum of electronics, cars, birds, chatter…even late at night in our “quiet” neighborhood, you can still hear civilization steadily moving.

Up there, it was silent. There wasn’t even much wind that day (it’s normally fairly breezy), and we stood there on the rocks among the wildflowers, looking out over the mountain range and just enjoyed the absolute silence for a bit. We stopped again at a little rest stop with a short walking trail, and even though there were a few more people and quite a few chipmunks begging for food (they told me off in squeaks because I didn’t bring sunflower seeds like others had), the underlying “feeling” was still one of silence. It was very grounding, even though the earth was literally falling away just on the other side of the guardrail.

I love quiet – I’m not someone who needs the TV or radio on “for noise” (in fact it bugs me if the TV is on when no one is actually watching it), and I need to be able to hear myself think in order to write or code or solve problems. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been out of my city, and just that little bit of silence, away from the constant hum of humanity was enough to convince me that I should venture out into the “wild” more often. It was glorious and exhilarating. Though it did take my ears a couple of days to recover from the quick descent from that high elevation (our city is at around 3,000ft, so we went up and down just over 7,000ft in the space of a few hours – down is worse, because it’s faster).

We were supposed to set out across the flatter “prairie” side of the state for Malta and Fairview for more Bookstore Trail stamps in a couple of weeks – our first overnight trip in the van. But my dear husband cut part of his finger off working on framing for the mattress Tuesday night, so that trip may have to wait a bit longer while he heals. I think we should be able to get a day trip in, though. If we do that, it’ll be farther towards the mountainous side of the state.

I’m looking forward to our next adventure out, whenever that may be. And while collecting stamps for our bookstore passport, I’m also collecting photos and ideas, which will hopefully shape themselves into stories. Or at least add to the stories already in progress.

When was the last time you found yourself in a place that felt utterly silent? Do you love the quiet, as I do, or does silence make you uncomfortable (as it does several people I know)?

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Jul 05 2024

Independence Day Thoughts

Author: Jamie DeBree

I rarely post political or social views online, mainly because I just don’t have the bandwidth to debate or argue about it with people more interested in swaying me to “their side” than actually having a logical, civil, back-and-forth conversation about issues. I also work in local government, and it pays to keep one’s personal views to themselves in that environment, to facilitate a reasonable working relationship with others.

But as I sit here in my home office, listening to people who didn’t want to spend an extra $5 on their taxes to fund a once-every-decade review of local government literally blow up a lot of money all around me, I feel compelled to post a rather long-winded diatribe about the state of our sociopolitical environment here in the US at the moment, and where I feel we’re headed in the not too distant future, just because so many people can’t divorce their loyalty to party in order to elect the *best person for the job as a whole*, rather than the person they feel will benefit them personally the most.

The truth is, my personal opinion doesn’t really matter in the big picture. Society as a whole is too far removed from the art of civil discourse and logical debate, and the vast majority do not understand and don’t want to think about the long-term consequences of candidates on a world-history-sized stage. They only want to look at how their life is right now, and right in front of them, rather than the actual history that caused those circumstances to “be”, and they don’t care how things will be affected worldwide (which will eventually affect their personal life) – they just want to hear someone tell them their life will be better right at this exact moment (and if they can make the “other team” completely miserable at the same time, all the better).

Too many people aren’t willing to compromise any longer – they must have it their way, or no way – like a whole generation of spoiled “only” children, and they will only vote for candidates who are either extreme right or extreme left, shunning those who dare try to walk the tightrope in the middle. Yet compromise is the only way a government like ours works – without compromise, and each side being willing to give leeway to the other side, there can’t be any consensus, and there can only be one winner. That kind of ideology isn’t compatible with democracy – it’s a monarchy, or “communist republic”, where only one ideology is allowed to “rule” (and once that’s allowed to be codified into law, it’s very, very difficult to overcome, generally requiring war and bloodshed).

It’s amazing to me how many people seem to think “communism” equals “wealth for all”, when right now we can easily see in communist countries elsewhere that it actually equals poverty for all except the wealthy few, and very little ability to actually move up in class or caste (depending on the country).

It’s worth remembering that extreme views tend to cause extremely uncomfortable lives for those who aren’t wealthy and in power…and it doesn’t matter which extreme – both are equally bad for a major portion of the population.

I think the only thing that could possibly save our democracy and independence is if people on both sides of the aisle stopped being so hard-nosed about their views, and started actively trying to find ways to compromise. That would allow both sides to actually have a decent amount of what they want, without forcing anyone to bear a whole lot of what will make them miserable.

I also would like to see people start actively voting for politicians who are *not* extremists in their party, but rather the moderates on both sides who can look at an issue from many different angles and then work together to figure out how everyone could mostly be happy. Yes, that still means compromise, and neither side gets everything they want. But overall I think that’s the only way everyone can be reasonably happy, and the only way to maintain the independence that our country was founded on.

Alas, I believe we are too far gone, and too selfish to come back from this ideology of extremes, and I think very soon it will cost us our democracy, which in turn will cost us a lot of the freedoms we take for granted today. Such is the trajectory most democratic governments eventually take, unfortunately (so says the historical record). But as usual, we won’t appreciate what we had until we lose it.

For now, I shall continue to vote moderate as much as I’m able, and to vote not for a particular party, but for the individual people I feel are best suited for the job at hand – who will do the best job not just for me personally, but for our city, county, state, and federal(world) levels, respectively.

I hope more people decide to do the same, but…I’m not holding my breath.

And now, having both impressed the founding fathers by speaking out and appalled them as both a woman who has opinions and a fence-straddling moderate, I feel I’ve done my historical and civic “duty” in adding my thoughts to the public record, and will now go back to relative silence as far as politics go.

I might need to pick up some more popcorn for the coming historical/sociopolitical shift though. Possibly a new popcorn maker, too.

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Jun 28 2024

Worth the Wait

Author: Jamie DeBree

I’ve been writing rather sporadically lately (fiction too, not just these blog posts). With fiction, I’m working on a tale of the old(ish) west, wherein a woman (or two, actually) runs away from her life on the east coast to find herself and hopefully make space in a male-dominated world here in my home state (newly minted just then) of Montana.

The part I’m working on is her journey – getting from point A to B, which in the late 1800’s was not a comfortable or particularly “fun” feat, though most of it would have been accomplished by train. Uncharacteristically, I had the first two-thirds of her travels planned out with a nice/odd little meet and hand-off, but when I got to the final third leg, I was stumped.

Not being Tolkien (or particularly liking descriptive passages of the landscape spanning more than a page or so), I had to take a break and figure out what I wanted to make of that final leg of the journey. I did some brainstorming and outlining (yes, I used AI for that, because it is very well-suited for such things and without that kind of efficient help, my very long-winded notes and research would most definitely never have been organized). I did a little more granular plotting, and got sidetracked by yet more research (because history is fascinating, which is why I have a history degree).

Then a couple nights ago, I sat down to write. My method for that when I don’t know what to write (dictation is useless if I don’t have some idea of where I’m going with a scene), is just to write the next word that logically follows the previous one, and keep typing, and eventually I find my way back into the story flow.

Well, I found my way into the flow that night, all right. I overshot my writing time by a good fifteen minutes just because I really had to get all the things out “on paper” before I left them to stew for the night. And I ended up with a nice little plot point that will add depth to my heroine’s story, fit in nicely with one of the overreaching themes of the book (that of how difficult it was for women to do anything on their own back then), and it will add a nice amount of both internal and external conflict to that first act of the book.

Not that I was thinking about any of that while writing, of course. Once you get into a writing “flow state”, the story literally just writes itself for the most part – I’m just the typist. And that is what makes writing so much fun.

I could have forced myself to keep writing when I got “stuck” on that part, and when I was younger, I probably would have. I’m glad I didn’t in this case, because the result was so much better than it would have been if I hadn’t waited. Patience was key, and I’m really glad I waited and just did more creative work “around” the story instead of bulldozing through. There’s a time for the bulldozer, of course, but in this case, it definitely benefited from a more patient touch.

Have you been rewarded for waiting lately? I think we should all be rewarded more often for that, don’t you?

Comment below, email me at jamie@jamiedebree.com, or catch up with me on Facebook or Instagram.

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Jun 21 2024

Road Trippin’ Summer – Van Life Calling

Author: Jamie DeBree

June 1st, my husband and I packed up our Smurfin’ Subaru with more than we needed (okay, that was me – I’m the over-thinker/over-planner) and hit the highway for the first time in…well, I can’t remember how long it’s been since we left our city (I know it was for a Motley Crue/Def Leppard concert that was disappointing and we got home around 2am). My mom’s side of the family was having a reunion in the small town of Forsyth, Montana, almost exactly 100 miles northeast of where we live in Billings – an easy day trip.

It was a beautiful day for a drive and we didn’t have to be there super-early, so we took our time getting out of town (important for non-morning people like ourselves), and left the dogs in the capable hands of my brother-in-law (who had a few issues, but dealt with them and made sure they got fed and let out for a bit at lunch).

Last year, we decided that this summer, we were going to take a series of short road trips to destinations on the Montana Bookstore Trail, and see how many we could get to. So this reunion trip was a good first day trip out, and we learned a couple of things:

– We should definitely take more day trips
– The seats in our Subaru are really not comfortable for longer than an hour or so.

I wistfully started yearning for the posh old Buick Park Avenues my husband used to drive when we were dating/first married – the seats in those were so incredibly plush and soft, and the ride was so smooth it was like floating down the road. Perfect road cars, but alas, impossible to find parts for or keep running after awhile. Both have been gone for many years now, sadly.

Then I was scrolling Facebook Marketplace after we got back from the reunion (as one does), and I spied a decent-looking passenger van for sale. It was old enough to be “classic”, but still in pretty good shape on the exterior, with a posh looking interior and super-comfy looking seats, in running condition, with just 75k miles on a “new” (second?) engine…all for $3000.

I mentioned it to the hubby, because in addition to our short road trips, we wanted to do a few longer trips that would require one or two overnight stays. I didn’t expect him to go for it, but figured I’d toss it out there as an alternate option to booking/staying in hotels (which are crazy expensive, especially during tourist season). There were a few other vans on offer, so options, but I really didn’t expect the suggestion to go anywhere.

And it didn’t…until one night later in the week, he came over and looked at the pictures. And then watched some videos on van camping. And then did some calculations on hotel costs vs. the added fuel costs inherent to driving a larger, older vehicle than our Subaru (which doesn’t actually get super-great mileage either, but definitely better than a 40 year old carburetor-engine van). And more calculations on how much it would cost to get the van actually road-worthy (it makes sense that an older van would need some mechanical work even if it runs before highway driving), and then outfit it with basic camping “necessities” like a bed, shades, etc.

It took a couple of days, but we talked ourselves into taking a look. We took it for a test drive, factored in the obvious repairs it needs (brakes, glass, seals) plus some that might not be as obvious and last Saturday (June 8), we bought this classic 1982 GMC 2500 Vandura for $3000.

Both of us have been unexpectedly energized by this new purchase, and we’ve been going a little nuts researching and planning how to prep and outfit our van for decent weather road trips, the occasional overnight stay, and then how we’ll store it for the winter months (bonus: ours came with a custom cover, which is good because it won’t fit in our garage). We’ve both read and learned more about engine types, repairs, gas types and car storage/maintenance than we previously cared to, just because this is a classic vehicle, so it’s a bit different than our “modern” vehicles and we want to take good care of it and also not get stranded – at least not due to our own ignorance or lack of maintenance.

We also want to upgrade the interior, shine up the exterior, and make it into something of a showpiece that we can enter in car/van shows if we feel like it. Because…well, it seems like the thing to do.

We do have another classic vehicle in the garage – a 1961 Chrysler Newport (for the car enthusiasts out there – it was the last year this particular model had wings on the back) that his grandma bought new that has been waiting decades for us to put the same level of interest and care into it, but…we can’t camp in that, so the motivation hasn’t been there. I dare say it will get more attention though after we get the van finished to our liking. The van is a nice vehicle to “learn” on.

The new van is registered (working at the courthouse helps with getting that done quickly) and license plates should be here in a couple of weeks. It’s insured, and currently spending a couple of weeks with the mechanic for a laundry list of replacements and fixes, including brake work, A/C retrofitting, belts, hoses, headlight drying, a tune-up, fluid flushing and replacement, and a few other things I’m sure I’ve forgotten. Basically everything except the engine, alternator and transmission needs some sort of repair or replacement, so it’s a very good thing we got it in before trying to drive it around much.

After that, it will get new tires, and spend a day at an auto glass shop for windshield and window seal replacements, though we may take a short trip between those two things to start our Bookstore Trail travels (and test out the mechanical work). Then we can get to the fun things like exterior paint refreshing/protection and interior redecorating as we have time and money.

We’re both very excited with this new development, and I think it’s for the same basic reason kids get excited about their first car: it represents a certain level of freedom that we didn’t really have before (limited by hotel costs/availability, and the comfort level and road-worthiness of our “daily-drivers”). It’s also something new, and not “just” functional – restoring and maintaining classic vehicles is a hobby all on its own (one we’re both interested in), and we may well take part in some “vanning” events eventually as well.

So, exciting times ahead, and many stories to find and create from the inspiration that travel and new experiences brings. Just this week, the Bookstore Trail passports became available at all the participating bookstores, so I got ours, and got our first stamp from my favorite local bookstore (plus a really, really cool book of book-themed stickers as well). We’re on our way!

We will incidentally be visiting stops on the Southeast Montana Burger Trail as well…which will be almost as fun as visiting all those bookstores! Stay tuned.

What’s brought you the excitement of something new lately? A thing? An experience? Plans for something different? Comment, email, or message me – I’d love to hear all about it!

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May 24 2024

Giving Up the Fight

Author: Jamie DeBree

Sometimes, I need a reminder to work “with” the natural order of things, rather than against them.

This tree was planted just off our back patio before we moved in nearly twenty years ago. The trunk was 4-5 inches across, and it was around eight feet tall. I loved the leaves. The proximity to the patio? Not so much, roots being what they are.

So we decided to cut it down. And we did, but we didn’t grind out the stump. We just kept cutting down the parts that kept popping back up, expecting it to die eventually. Needless to say, it’s withstood decades of abuse at our hands, as we never quite got around to grinding the stump out, and it just kept doing what trees do, and growing any which way it could.

This year, I looked at all the new growth points, and gave up. It clearly wants to live, and I want shade over the patio, so cut all but the straightest sucker off, and I told my husband I was just going to let it grow.

Will the roots eventually damage the patio? Maybe. Probably, though there’s a tree with the same sort of leaves a couple blocks over right next to a sidewalk, and it doesn’t seem to be pushing that concrete up (yet).

I’m not sure what kind of tree it is, but when the leaves get a bit bigger, I’ll find out and look it up. Regardless, I’m done fighting with it. Anything with that strong of a will to live in our yard, where we’ve struggled to get other trees to take hold, deserves a chance to do its thing. I know this one will grow fast and strong, because it comes up from the ground every year and ends up taller than I am before summer even gets started.

For this year, I’m going to pick a nice spot somewhere near the top and lop it down just a foot or so, to encourage some branching. Then we’ll see how it does over the summer. I should probably read up on tree care. Lord knows I watch enough bonsai videos.

I don’t know about you, but I need this reminder in my life every so often. Things are so much easier and less stressful when I stop fighting and go with the natural flow of things.

Are you a fighter? Or are you a “go with the flow” sort of person?

Drop a comment or email me at jamie@jamiedebree.com, or catch up with me on Facebook or Instagram. Discussion is always welcome!

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May 17 2024

Respecting the Process

Author: Jamie DeBree

I’ve always been very goal-oriented. I’ve pretty much spent the entire first half (or more, but we’re thinking positively here) of my life focused on reaching goals. Graduating high school. Moving out/buying my first house. Getting my first job. Developing my first career. Paying off debt. Writing/finishing a book. Getting married. Publishing my first book. Writing more books. Paying off debt again. Working towards retirement. Trying to get to a point where I can focus solely on my writing. You get the idea.

The thing I’ve noticed more and more lately is, I’m far less patient with the process required to meet big (and small) goals than I used to be. I’m in such a hurry to just get a project done and move on to the next thing that I’m just annoyed and irritated at all the little things that need to be done between the start and end of the project.

The issue with smaller projects (individual books, for example), is that I need the smaller projects done before I can advance the larger projects. And those larger projects are parts of bigger projects yet, and so on and so forth. Since I’m always looking ahead, I’m focused on what I can’t do *yet*, rather than what I am doing *now*.

That’s really not a healthy or productive perspective, I don’t think.

The only way I can really complete those bigger projects/goals with any kind of good knowledge base and experience is to *not rush* the process needed to actually “level up”. Constantly trying to “go faster” or circumvent the whole, detailed process of whatever it is I happen to be working on at the time is not going to help in the long run, and it could certainly hinder things later on if I have to go back and learn things I missed earlier.

The trick then, is to learn to respect the process itself rather than focusing on a goal several steps ahead. It’s a tough shift when I’ve been looking at far-off goals my whole life, but I think it’s very necessary, especially at this point in my life.

Writing, weight loss, gardening (indoors and out), and dog training are all projects I’m working on now where I’m actively trying to respect the process and focus on learning all I can before it’s time to move on. I’ll freely admit – it’s difficult more days than others. But ultimately, I want to break down my own barriers to such things, and find a way to…if not enjoy, at least respect the process I need to go through.

With writing, revisions are my major issue at the moment. I think I’m starting to make progress as far as my attitude towards them goes, with the help of some new software and techniques I’ve been playing with. Sometimes just changing *how* I move through a process helps me to tolerate it – and sometimes even appreciate it – more easily.

Are you someone who enjoys the process? Or are you less enamored with the “journey” than the end goal like myself?

Drop a comment or email me at jamie@jamiedebree.com, or catch up with me on Facebook or Instagram. Discussion is always welcome.

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Jamie DeBree

Writer | DBA | Dog Wrangler

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