Hangin’ Out

Not too long ago, I had a conversation with a friend via FB Messenger that was quite enjoyable (I much prefer one-on-one conversations to group convos), and after it was over, I realized that one of the bigger general life perspectives she shared with me was exactly what I needed to understand one of the characters I’m writing more fully. I don’t know that I would ever have gotten that so clearly (or at all) if not for that one-off, impromptu conversation that started as something else entirely.

A week or so later, I  finally met a person in “real life” that I’d known online for awhile, and it hit me that she also has a unique perspective shared with one of my other characters (and also that we have a fair amount in common, and that I’d like to chat with her more).  I shamelessly messaged her to set up a time when we could meet and chat. We did meet, and had a nice chat, and agreed that we should do such things more often.

I…am not good at getting together with people. I’m busy (like everyone else), and lazy (like some other people), and it’s *work* to find the time to actually plan a chat, work it out between schedules, then go and actually have the chat. I was trying to remember how I did it when I was younger, and a lot of my socializing back then was either movies or shopping. Two things I don’t actually do very often anymore (at least not in person). Movies really aren’t very conducive to conversation, but when I was young, it was never “just a movie”, it was a group of us, at the movies, and then in a restaurant booth late at night dissecting what we just saw (along with solving all the world’s problems over fries, as one does).

As for shopping…yes, we bought stuff, but we were on high school/college budgets, so it was more window-shopping than actual purchasing. Trying on silly hats or clothes, checking out the latest gag gifts at the mall, enjoying an Orange Julius while trying to avoid the perfume-sprayers like the plague – it was all just a way to spend time together and be “in” the community.

My husband and I used to get together with other couples occasionally – mostly guys he knew from work and their wives, but those events have fallen off over the years. And we haven’t invited anyone over in quite a long time either – partially due to the dogs (we’ve had several in a row that can’t really be kenneled safely), and partially just because it takes time to clean house and actually entertain.  A few of my friends live out of town by a good hour or more, which makes it difficult to mesh our schedules for a get-together.

But, I haven’t tried much, either. That little chat in a coffee shop was the first time I’ve invited anyone to do anything in *years*, and I did it right away when I thought about it because I didn’t want to talk myself out of it (which is how out of practice I’ve gotten).

There’s something to be said for getting together as a smaller group, and another thing to be said about chit-chatting one-on-one. And anti-social as I am in general, I do see the value of being social, and cultivating a “friend group” (in person – socializing IRL is definitely different than socializing online).  I just have to remind myself of that value when I’m being lazy and not wanting to give up my time.

All this to say, I’m going to try harder to set aside some social time once every 4-6 weeks or so. It may just be getting together with a friend for a chat (or a wander through the antique mall), it may be a group gathering of some sort (watch party? craft night? repotting session?), or maybe it’ll be a couples thing with…another couple. I’m going to need to replace my couch before I have people over (I mean, it would be a great discussion starter, but it’s seen much better days), so it’ll be several months before anything like that happens, but I think it would behoove me to spend some time cultivating a few in-person relationships.

Quarterly house parties, anyone? We’ll see.

How are you at staying in touch with friends? Not just online, but in person? Do you make an effort, or are you a “wait until someone calls” person, like me?

Writing News

I am currently working on polishing up the story I’ll send out with Christmas cards this year. I think that will probably take me to the end of the week.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about how I want to move forward with my writing. I seem to have the capacity for shorter fiction more than longer at the moment, so I’m toying with the idea of writing micro and flash stories for cards and bookmarks next year, rather than continuing to beat my head against novel-length works. These will be cards and bookmarks I make myself – so it will merge two arts/crafts, and put the focus more on creating specialty items in small quantities rather than trying to reach a global audience with a larger work.

That’s not to say I won’t still be working on my novels, but my current lifestyle really doesn’t support that kind of work, and I don’t want to stop writing altogether. I like writing short, and this will be a good way for me to keep writing and actually be able to *finish things*, which is helpful in motivating me to keep on with the longer form fiction.

So, I’m kind of excited about that. And at the end of the year, who knows? I might have enough short form fiction to publish a nice collection, too!

Recommendation(s)

Check out Jamie Brindle Books on Etsy for a general idea of what I’m thinking with the cards. There are a few other book-card writers there as well, if you browse around a bit. Fun, eh?

What do you think? Would you be interested in sending someone a card with a micro-story inside?