Articles

Nov 18 2024

Rewiring: One Door at a Time

Author: Jamie DeBree

I wrote my first novel 250 words at a time, during commercial breaks while watching TV in the evenings. I used to put puzzles together on a regular basis, working on them for a few hours every Saturday, and then putting it away for the next week. Those were the days when TV was only live, and you had to wait a week between episodes to find out what happened next, and wait through 15 minutes of disbursed commercial breaks to get through 45 minutes of programming.

Information was starting to be available online, but it still took time to dial into the internet, and then electronic traffic was slower, so clicking a link or typing in an address meant waiting a few minutes each time for the forum or rudimentary website to load (much longer for an image). Call waiting was barely a thing, and cell phones just starting to be accessible, so making a call still generally had to wait until you were somewhere you could either borrow or pay to use a telephone, or until you got home or to work.

The commonality in all of this is the patience required simply to move through the average day. One simply had to be patient and persistent to get things done. There was no binging a whole season of a show at a time, at least not until the season was completely finished, after which you could buy the whole set if you really wanted to. No calling up someone while you’re out shopping, or texting someone instead of waiting to talk to them when they (or you) get home. No typing in a query to Google and instantly getting page after page of information back before you can even blink.

These days, everything is faster and more efficient, but it’s also really changed my expectations not only of the world around me, but of the demands I place on myself – and the latter is not necessarily for the better. My attention span has shortened, and my persistence along with it. I don’t like that about myself, but it’s a difficult thing to rewire the brain, especially when the entire world is screaming that you have to work faster, faster, faster. That slowing down and pacing yourself is lazy, inefficient, and unproductive.

However, I really believe that constant go go go/faster faster faster attitude is unhealthy, stressful, and ultimately less productive than taking a slower, more measured approach. So I am working to rewire my brain. Focusing on measured, steady progress, rather than how many words I can write in 15 minutes, or how much cleaning I can get done in one hour. Working on creating maintainable routines, rather than whirlwind frantic “sessions” that burn me out by the end.

I’ve been writing a lot more lately. Working at my writing desk, on my Freewrite without distractions, and even Election night, I managed to get around 400 words in before bed. I’m working on short drafts at the moment – four flash fiction drafts that I really want to finish before the end of the month. I have two done, and by the end of the week when this post goes up, I will probably have finished a third. I’m using these to create the routine, and then I’ll go back to working on my main novel drafts three nights per week, and short fiction one night per week. I’m not striving for specific word counts, just writing for a set time, and the words I get down are the words I get down. I find it rather calming, not worrying about how much I get done. It puts the fun back in the activity, and gives me a satisfying sense of relaxation late in the evening before I plan out the next day and read a little before bed.

I’m also working on my deeper cleaning skills, one kitchen cabinet door at a time. Every night before writing time, I clean the kitchen. And now, at the tail end of that when I’m wiping down my counters, I wipe down one (just one) cabinet door. It’s actually hard to stop at one, because it’s been so long since they were clean, and I just want to rush through and clean them all at once, and then start my “one nightly” routine, but the thing that motivates me to keep going right now is that the next one is still visibly dirty. That dirt is what drives me nuts (and has been for months), but it’s also what’s driving me to clean a door every night, instead of being lazy and skipping if I just don’t feel like it or am in a hurry or whatever.

So I’ll continue to stop myself after just one, and by the time I finish going all the way around my kitchen, I’ll have cleaned a door a day for nearly 22 days. That should be enough time to cement the routine into my nightly muscle memory, and after that, it should be easy to just continue wiping down a door every night, and keeping them much cleaner than they have been in years.

I’m employing this pacing wherever I can – at work, to my piles of paper that need to be dealt with at home, other cleaning tasks, etc. Training my brain to take things once piece at a time, and not rushing to do too many things at once, but rather to focus on what I’m doing *at that moment*, and creating routines wherever possible. I’ve really noticed a shift over the last few weeks in my stress levels (for the better), and contrary to what it seems like, I’m actually getting more done, rather than less.

Efficiency is not a bad thing, and I do use tools whenever I can to make my life easier and get things done more quickly. But patience and persistence are “life skills” I was starting to lose, and I’m glad I decided to work on developing them again.

Now if I can just apply the same principle to getting my blog posted weekly and a monthly newsletter going again, I’ll feel *really* accomplished.

One other thing – I do have an account on Bluesky (since it seems that’s the new Twitter, and it does feel like “the old days”). Feel free to follow me at jamiedebreemt.bsky.social. I’m currently just posting a daily writing word in the morning, followed by a bit of micro-fiction using that word at night (I’ll probably start posting these on FB as well), but you never know. I may post something witty at some point. Odds are good if you don’t post a lot of political stuff, I’ll probably follow you back, too.

That’s it! Until next time,

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Jul 28 2023

When Wide Focus is Actually Sabotage

Author: Jamie DeBree

Video of the Week

Because it fits with this week’s theme, and also, it’s fun: Sabotage by the Beastie Boys.

One Thing at a Time, Dammit!

I read an article recently (linked below in the recommendations section) that discusses how writing is like long-distance running. I am not (and never will be) a runner of any sort. If something was chasing me, I can’t guarantee I’d take off sprinting – I’m highly likely to hold my ground instead, just because…well, because that’s who I am.

But there’s a point there where the author is pointing out that focusing on getting to the end of a run (or novel) is self-sabotaging, and often leads to overwhelm and burnout. Which is true, and something I knew anyways, but as I read that little bit and started thinking about all the ways I sabotage myself on a daily basis with writing, I realized that it’s not just the writing I do that with. It’s everything, and it’s a habit I’ve had since I was a kid. I always have my eye on the next big milestone, rather than giving proper attention to the smaller steps of the journey.

Between that article and playing Elvenar, which is a serious study in patience and not advancing too quickly (or you’ll get hopelessly stuck), I think I’m doing myself an injustice with that perspective.

As an example, I recently decided it might be fun to get a kick scooter (read: non-electric) to use while walking Apollo (and maybe Athena…but she’s a flightier and has health issues I need to take into consideration). I realized awhile back that the reason Apollo pulls when we walk is often just because his comfortable walking (trotting) speed is (naturally) faster than my walking speed. Being a problem-solver, I figured the solution is for me to speed up, but I can only walk so fast, so…I obviously need wheels, which might be better exercise for me, too.

Lots of thought and consideration/rejection has gone into the decision of what kind of wheels might work (and result in the least amount of personal damage should things go awry), but the point relevant here is that after much waffling, research and review reading/watching, I ordered a scooter. But I also ordered a bike attachment/leash, and spent way, way too much time (time I could/should have spent writing or otherwise being productive) researching all the ways I might be able to use a scooter to walk a dog, the pros and cons of one thing over the other, harnesses, helmets, and all the things needed to get the end result I’m aiming for (Apollo and I getting better exercise in a way that meets both of our needs).

The thing is, I don’t even have the scooter. I don’t know if I’ll like riding it or not, and I haven’t actually ridden a scooter since I was a kid (and even then, it wasn’t mine, it was borrowed, so it wasn’t a regular thing). So aside from a helmet (I have a bike helmet that would work already), literally none of the rest of it matters or will matter until I have a scooter, know I can ride it, become proficient at riding it, and decide I want to ride it while walking (?) my dog(s).

Prime example of me jumping way, way, way ahead of myself, ignoring the small steps that I really need to focus on doing first (and doing well), and just thinking that next week, Apollo and I will be scooter-trotting like we’ve done it forever. Which isn’t reasonable or practical, it’s just impatient.

I’ve done this with a lot of things in life, which means I have to backtrack a lot, because I skip over or otherwise rush through things I didn’t want to do because they seem boring at the outset, but the lessons learned in going through that part of the journey are important or necessary in order to reach that bigger goal.

Now if I could just figure out how to teach my brain to be patient, and gather knowledge and items at a bit more reasonable pace when we start a new “quest”. Or rather to have more faith that I’ll be able to find it when I need it along the way – there’s no need to get everything all at once and stockpile, and sometimes doing so means I get the wrong things and have to redo it anyways.

Writing News

In light of the whole “enjoy the journey” theme, I’ve always just jumped right in with writing, not planning, researching or gathering anything first, but just writing away (my favorite way to write, honestly). Unfortunately, that left me with some drafts that needed a bunch more work than I wanted to put in after the fact. So I’m trying to do more of the planning and researching and plotting ahead of time, but that’s having the effect of slowing me down to the point of nearly-no progress.

I finally had to instate that 150 words per day rule (which I have been meeting, thanks), and just write forward no matter what. I need to figure out a happy medium between plotting too much, and not plotting at all. I’ll get there…it’s a(nother) process. As is editing/revisions. But I’ll figure it out. And I need to focus on what I need to figure out *now* instead of constantly looking forward and longing for the future when I can “retire” to write full time (the ultimate goal in writing for me).

However! In years past when I tried to plot ahead, I’d lose interest in the story fairly quickly. With the Magpie stories, that’s not happening. So, progress!

Recommendation(s)

Here’s the article comparing writing and long-distance running, for those interested. This is an abbreviated version posted on The Passive Voice, but you can click through from there to the full version:

https://www.thepassivevoice.com/what-ive-learned-about-writing-from-long-distance-running/

That’s it for this week! If you have a favorite thing to share, or want to recommend a book, TV show, video or podcast, comment below, email me at jamie@jamiedebree.com, or catch up with me on Facebook or Instagram.

Jul 05 2021

Variety News – July 5, 2021

Author: Jamie DeBree

On My Mind
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about patience. Mostly how I have so much less now than I used to. I don’t think that’s a good thing, and I think it would benefit me greatly to cultivate that again…I’m not sure what to call it. Life skill? Talent? Virtue?

Whatever you want to call it, life is a much happier, less stressful place when I’m content to live in the moment, and wait for what will eventually come. It goes hand-in-hand with impulse control, which is something else I really need to reign in again, specifically when it comes to spending. *sigh*

What am I so impatient about? Mostly being able to write full-time, and my hair (both the color and the length). But reigning in the little things – the impulse purchases, etc are equally important to get under control. So both daily things, and long-term goals. Fortunately, I have a plan for each of them that should help me re-focus my perspective on the journey, rather than the endgame. I think that will be very beneficial overall, from a mental health perspective.

Growing
Look! We have a couple of ripe cherry tomatoes! Let the Season of Tomatoes with Everything begin!

Watching
We’re watching the final season of Bosch on Amazon. Anyone else watching? The acting seems…well, not as good as it should be, IMO.

Reading
I found this rather interesting – How to Slow Time Down (Lifehacker)
httpss://lifehacker.com/how-to-make-time-slow-down-1847212162
Perspective really is everything, it seems. And this explains why my life is mostly just a blur in my memory. I’m not sure if I’m concerned about that or not, honestly.

Bling & Things
A few weeks ago, I bought an adorable little red/white/blue Flexi with a heart from Lilla Rose for some Independence Day hair bling. In the space of time between when I ordered it and when I wanted to wear it though, the side layers of my hair grew out enough that the extra small size doesn’t work for a half-up anymore, so it’s too small. I may be able to use the Flexi for other styles later when my hair is longer overall (and I can do more with smaller bits), but for this year, it’s consigned to the drawer. It was a nice thought, anyways (and I would have ordered a size up, but they were sold out, and at the time, the xs size was still working for me).

In any case, it is a very nice piece of seasonal hair bling. Maybe they’ll have them again next year and I can get the larger size then.

Post Round-up
The Writer’s Desk (last updated: 7/3/21 )
Leash Candy (last updated: 7/4/21)

Jan 25 2021

Change and Patience

Author: Jamie DeBree

Words for the Week: Stress, exhaustion, bloom.

Changing routines is hard. I am trying rather valiantly to switch things up, with moderate success, but it’s slow going considering I have to rewrite neuro-pathways (essentially muscle-memory for the brain) and also actual muscle memory/kinetic energy. But! I was able to get back to the office at 11pm every night this past week, and after comparing the time it takes me to transcribe with the time it takes to just write, and the editing time required after each…I was able to determine that for me, writing the initial draft instead of dictating it, and then transcribing it later is definitely more efficient.

So, no more dictation, though I may use that just for capturing random thoughts to set the scene or details I want to include later. We’ll see.

It also means (given the editing component) that I have a lot of rewriting to do from last year. *sigh* But I can use my dictations as outlines of sorts, so all isn’t lost.

In other news, I’m trying to figure out how to motivate myself to keep up with daily/weekly chores so small issues don’t become big issues. Like the fact that I had to clean out my fridge yesterday and it was completely gross. Or that I routinely let non-dishwasher-safe dishes pile up in one of my sinks, and they sit there for weeks simply because I hate hand-washing dishes so I don’t do them right when they’re “generated”. And there’s the recycling that I don’t take out to the garage, so then I have empty cans and bottles piling up on my kitchen counters making it more difficult to cook.

Laziness is the only reason I don’t take care of these things right away, before that pack of celery becomes goo on a fridge shelf, or before there are so many cans on my counter I don’t have room for a cutting board. I know it needs to be done, I just choose not to take the 5 minutes to do it because I don’t feel like it, or I’m too tired, or just unmotivated.

I’m not sure how to motivate myself to do these things right away instead of waiting until they get to the point of no return (which then requires several hours of time to catch up rather than 5 minutes). I know routine is part of it, so that even when my brain doesn’t feel like it, kinetic energy and muscle memory just pull me into getting it done. I rely on that a lot for daily things, and it works well, once it’s coded into my brain. Re-coding though is…often problematic.

But I need to do something. Keeping up on these things gives me more time overall, and that is what I covet most…more time not doing housekeeping or cleaning chores. I also really hate cleaning veggie goo and moldy leftovers out of my refrigerator.

Am I trying to change up too much, too quickly, between the writing and household stuff? Possibly. I’m impatient with the fact that I can’t make quicker progress, mostly because I’m finally motivated to fix these problems, and it’s stressful going through the change. So I’m anxious to get through the transitional period and to the other side where this stuff just “happens” without so much mental effort.

Alas, “extra mental effort” seems to be the theme of the past 12 months and continues on. So I don’t know why I expect personal growth to be any different.

I did make some monthly goals for writing/publishing, and a plan for reaching those. I may have made them too late to hit this month, but it’s still a solid plan going forward. So there’s that.

I’ve been working on rehabbing my hip too, with good progress. Slow and steady with that…Friday was the first day I could do three sun salutation sets with zero pain. So this week, I start strength training for the muscles in and around my hips, in hopes of keeping any future damage to a minimum. Yet another change where patience is required (or a lot of damage could occur).

And my hair has hit another awkward point of growth…I really am going to have to find a new stylist soon, if only to even up the back and then sort of calm down the flippy-ness of the upper layers. That will be a February project, I guess.

Change and patience. Patience and change. Two things I am quite weary of at this point, but with enough patience and time, things will stabilize and get easier. It sometimes takes awhile, but they always do.

Eye on the prize, and all that. *sigh*

May 28 2019

Not Right Now

Author: Jamie DeBree

I talk (whine, whatever) a lot here about things I want and can’t have. The list is actually a pretty short one – fewer than five items, really. But what keeps me from those things is a pretty short list too, and my own name is at the top of that list.

I hate it when people say things like:

You are your own worst enemy
If you want it bad enough, you’ll make it happen
If you’re not getting what you want, your priorities need to change

I hate it mostly because it’s all true. The reasons I don’t have the things on my “short list” are mainly self-imposed restrictions and rules that I’m hell-bent on following mainly because I feel that’s the “right thing to do”. Priorities that I could change, but won’t. And obviously I don’t want any of those short-listed items enough to “make them happen”. The personal cost is too high, or so I perceive it to be.

Some days, I really wish I were that person. That I could just change my priorities, drop everything holding me back or slowing me down, and run get the things I want with wild abandon. But I’m not, and I can’t. So I struggle with things daily, trying to make room in an already full life for just one or three more things that will not fit, no matter how badly I want them to.

This mostly ends up with me feeling defeated and beat-down, resigned to leaving those things on the short list unresolved. I’m tired of trying to shoehorn things in where they don’t fit, fighting all the external things that seem to be actively fighting against my best efforts, and the only thing that keeps me going is one minuscule sliver of hope:

What if these things are meant to happen in the future, instead of “right now”?

Looking back, there are a lot of things in my life I’ve had to wait a lot longer for than I’d have liked. Some of them I even gave up on while I was waiting, resigning myself to the fact that they were never going to happen, and learning to be okay with that. When they finally did, I could see why I needed to wait, how the base was being established during that time period, and how things fell into place how, and more importantly, when, they were supposed to. Like fate, or karma, or magic, or whatever you want to call it. They couldn’t be forced. They had to happen organically, in their time, not mine.

There are a lot of things I’ve wanted and never gotten too, of course. And that’s just life – often for the better (though not always). But maybe I just need to stop trying to force my short list to happen, and resign myself to the fact that if an when those things are supposed to do something, they will. Until then, I need to be patient, and work at building the foundations that need to be in place first. Having a good foundation never hurts, even if nothing is ever built on top.

It’s so annoyingly slow though. Decades, in some cases. *sigh*

I guess only time will tell. Patience is, indeed, a virtue, I suppose.

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Sep 19 2016

Patience, Grasshopper

Author: Jamie DeBree

Patience isn’t an easy thing for most of us. When I was young (say, elementary school through high school), I always wanted time to move faster. I couldn’t wait to get out of high school and get to college. And then in college, when I realized I still couldn’t really relate to people my age for various reasons, I wanted *that* time to move faster, so I could move out of my parent’s house and get a single, glorious job that would cover all my bills and still leave me free in the evenings to…you know, watch TV and sleep. Then I graduated, and got the job, but had to stay with my parents for two more years before I finally had enough money saved up to buy a house. I got a better job on the same day I got the house, and life was finally good. I’d finally reached the point where I wasn’t constantly wishing things would hurry up and move faster.

Nowadays, I’m less impatient with time itself, and more impatient *with* myself. Every time I have to learn something or figure something new out for my job, I think I should just be able to automagically access the data and apply it like a pro – like a digital download to the brain, Matrix-style. And with writing, I feel like I should be able to learn new concepts and apply them perfectly right away, instead of constantly botching it up, trying again, getting a little better, trying again…etc.

Of course I can’t…I have to figure out what I need to learn, and then read about it, and then apply it, and fail, and try again, and fail, and go through the same process everyone else does. Which is absolutely logical/normal, but with writing especially, I wish I could grab those relatively abstract concepts and apply them without so much floundering. Database stuff is far more logical than writing (which surprises no one, I’m certain).

It’s all ego, of course – thinking I should be able to just learn new things with a simple “make it so” command. Knowing that doesn’t make me want it less though, and I’m constantly repeating the phrase from the old Kung Fu TV series to myself:

“Patience, grasshopper.”

Which reminds me, of course, that there are steps to learning, and no shortcuts, and the “journey” of learning something is often a lesson in and of itself. So might be said of the journey of simply waiting for something to happen – or to see if something will eventually happen.

Life itself is more about the journey than any particular destination, methinks.

And that is why I had a grasshopper tattooed on my forearm a little over a week ago. The ladybug is for luck, which…is a philosophical discussion for another day.

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Jamie DeBree

Writer | DBA | Dog Wrangler

Rewiring: One Door at a Time

When Wide Focus is Actually Sabotage

Variety News – July 5, 2021

Change and Patience

Not Right Now

Patience, Grasshopper