The Freedom of 50

By Jamie DeBree 2026/06/22 Weekly News

I recently joined the Board of Directors for our local indie bookstore, This House of Books (and was summarily voted V.P., because I’m reasonably good at using technology to schedule appointments – ha!). We are currently planning for the 10 Year Anniversary Party, and deciding on local talent (poets, writers, playwrights?) to invite.

One of our other board members whom I’ve considered a friend for quite a few years now suggested I should do a reading from MacKenzie Saves the World. A few years ago, my answer would have been a very emphatic “no” (for a lot of reasons, not just performance-fear related).

This time, I found myself in uncharted territory. While my initial knee-jerk reaction was to pause, something in the back of my mind was saying, “No problem – you could do that.” And the more I thought about it, the more I agreed with that voice. Yes, yes I can. Or maybe a reading from the Halloween release I hope to have done by then.

Interestingly (to me, anyways), I’ve been less reticent to do…all sorts of things since I turned 50 (I’m now 51). From what I’ve read, this is one of the more positive side-effects of menopause…once our hormones drop, many of us women stop caring so much what other people think, and stop trying to please everyone else before we take care of ourselves.

I think too, there’s a confidence that comes from just getting older, and achieving certain milestones in life. Getting that promotion, consistently producing work we’re proud of (at work, at home, wherever…), and just generally having more experience not only being successful, but in failing, and knowing that even if something we try fails, we can find a way over, around, or through it.

Combining those years of experience with the reduced care for what others think is apparently a fantastic recipe for no-nonsense confidence. That seems like a dangerous thing in the wrong hands, honestly, but also, I’m becoming more and more willing to just embrace it, even though it sometimes makes me feel like I’m being too forward or “pushy”.

There are so many downsides to aging, and menopause is hell in many ways for a lot of us. But this…this is a good thing, I think, and I’m going to embrace it (more or less), and see where it takes me (as long as I don’t feel I’m becoming *too* insufferable).

If you are “of a certain age”, have you noticed that your “give-a-damn” seems to be more permanently busted? Do you feel like you have somewhat more confidence due to that -both in the little things, like just talking to people you don’t know, as well as the larger things, like taking on more at work, or being more willing to take on challenging projects? I’m just curious if this is a “me” thing, or a reasonably wide-spread occurrence.

Either way, it’s pretty cool, I think.

Until next time,

Jamie

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Tagged on: 50, confidence, Fifty Years, parties, readings, this house of books