family drama – Jamie DeBree

I’m having surgery next week.

This is something I’d hoped to avoid indefinitely, but…best laid plans and bum genetics (with a little “boisterous young dog” thrown in for good measure) have made it inevitable. Much like everyone else in my family, my gallbladder has given up on our relationship early, so it has to go before it becomes any more toxic.

One of the cool things about being a writer is…this whole experience is story fodder. Not just the surgery, but everything leading up to it, everything that comes after, and all the different emotions and thoughts that are floating through my head right now (along with those that aren’t).

While I’m knocked out, the surgeon is also going to do some exploring to see if he can find the cause of the pain I’ve been having in my lower right abdomen as well. Appendix? Scarring? A twist in my intestine (which would be rather ironic, considering this all started with a big dog paw to the gut)? Hopefully he’ll figure that out too, and if he can fix it at the same time, all the better.

Needless to say, this has me thinking about Advance Directives and a will. Yes, I know this is a very routine procedure (well, the gallbladder removal is), and techniques are such these days that people rarely have issues with it, but letting a group of people I barely know knock me out and poke around in my insides warrants a bit of advanced planning, methinks.

Last time I was in the emergency room being evaluated for a potential appendectomy, they sent someone to give me an Advanced Directives packet, which at the time, I thought might be a little dramatic. But being only a week out from having one of my organs removed has me taking it a bit more seriously.

So, I’ve decided to fill out the paperwork, which consists of a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, and a Living Will Declaration. This will tell everyone what my wishes are if the unthinkable happens, and I end up unable to make end-of-life decisions for myself (Living Will Declaration) or assign my husband the power he needs to make decisions for me in the event that I can’t make treatment decisions for myself (DPOAH). It will also keep people I *don’t* want making those decisions from making them, which is almost more important, IMO.

I thought I should also write up a quick and dirty personal will, just because everyone should have one, regardless of where they’re at in life, but I’ll admit, I’m at a bit of a loss as to how I want to leave things. Most of my stuff just isn’t going to be important to anyone but me, and my dogs are the only things I care about making sure they’re taken care of if I were to suddenly die.

I’m sure I’ll think about it over the next week or more, and maybe eventually I’ll settle on something. It’s not as important to me as the other at the moment, simply because if I die, my husband will be there to take care of the dogs and keep or sell my stuff. But I suppose it would be less of a headache for him if I lined things out anyways.

I don’t think any of us want to think about our own mortality (I know I don’t). But the fact is, none of us are immortal, and things happen that we don’t expect.

Even if I don’t die from the unexpected (let’s hope not, anyways), I also have specific wishes about what happens to me while I’m under anesthesia or heavy medication, and it seems like a good idea to make sure that’s all spelled out and left with someone I trust, rather than leaving it all up to chance for family members to fight over at a time when no one should be fighting (I mean, we all know they will anyways, but no sense in making it worse by not leaving explicit instructions).

Do you have Advanced Medical Directives lined out and on file? What about a personal will? Are you a control freak like me, who wants to make sure people know what you want in the event you can’t speak for yourself, or are you more the “they’ll figure it out” type?

Any bets on whether I’ll see a “real bright light” on surgery day or not (yes, this is a trick question)?

Jamie DeBree

Writer | DBA | Dog Wrangler

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